Dallas / Fort Worth and Me

I recently endured an experience that provides me with a good, heartwarming opportunity to warn you about the kind of treatment you can expect at the hands of some Texas airlines and airports, depending on the weather. Beware, traveler: this could happen to you! (Cue dramatic music.)

On October 15, 2007, I got stuck in Houston’s Bush Intercontinental Airport for more than ten hours, and barely avoided being stuck there for eight more because I was persistent and, I’ll admit, just a little bit rude with the representatives of ExpressJet Airlines and their corporate parent, Continental Airlines. Their foolishness landed me in this situation, and when it came time for a little customer service, they treated me like an inconvenience to be ignored. I won’t be flying either airline again. In fact, the situation turned me off to air travel altogether, because I could have gotten to my destination more quickly by bicycle.

Now, before I embark on my rant, let me point out that I realize that the situation wasn’t all ExpressJet’s fault. Stormy weather in Houston led the airport administrators to shut the facility down for a while, first for incoming flights and later for outgoing ones. The bureaucratic mess that is the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) made it worse. They all conspired to concoct a Traveler’s Hell for thousands of us who connected through Houston that day. Later, both ExpressJet and Continental had the opportunity to step up to the customer relations bat and shine; instead, they fouled out so spectacularly that they probably managed to alienate hundreds, if not thousands, of customers.

Here’s my story. I was trying to leave Midland (which happens to be President Bush’s home town) to get back to Dallas after a family visit. I got to the airport early, and was assured my 1:10 PM connecting flight to Houston was on time. It had to be, because it wasn’t going to arrive until 2:49 and I had a flight from Houston to Dallas at 3:30. The only reason I had to go to Houston was because that’s Continental’s hub, and so ExpressJet flights from Midland have to go there first — remember that if you ever decide to fly with Continental in Texas!

Okay. I’m used to the arcane rules of airline flight as it’s practiced in Texas (don’t get me started about the Wright Amendment), so I was willing to deal with going 1,000 miles out of my way to get home, as long as the airline didn’t mind. After all, I like peanuts.

Imagine my surprise when a charter jet, set to carry a bunch of old folks to the gambling halls of Laughlin, Nevada, tooled up to my gate at 12:48. Did they hustle everyone on and get out of our way? Nope. We were, however, assured that our flight would still be on time. But 1:10 came and went, and the charter jet was sitting on the tarmac still. To be fair, they had to settle in a lot of old folks, at least a half-dozen of whom were in wheelchairs. This delay, I suppose, I should blame on Midland Airport — but not the next one. We were finally on our plane and ready to go at 1:40. Did the flight crew immediately button up the airplane and head for the clouds? They did not. We sat on the tarmac for another half-hour because they were scrambling around looking for a 49^th person they could stuff into the one empty seat. Here’s another thing you’ll need to beware of when flying ExpressJet: they’re cheap bastards. We already had 49 passengers aboard, but one was a babe-in-arms — so they had an opportunity to scrape up a few more bucks.

We never did get that extra passenger, and we finally got airborne about an hour behind schedule. In mid-flight we were diverted to Corpus Christi, southwest of Houston, where we sat on the tarmac — I kid you not — for more than an hour and a half. Another reason to avoid ExpressJet. They eventually let us out into Corpus Christi’s tiny airport about 5 PM, where the choices for rest and food were limited. We were finally hustled back onboard about 7:45 where (joy!) we were given two packets of peanuts and a tiny drink to calm us down. Then it was on to Houston, where we were told a Continental rep would be waiting to help us with hotels, flights, or whatever else we could arrange. That was a bald-faced lie. It was almost 9 PM by the time we got into Houston, and we were left to fend for ourselves. By then, of course, every easily accessible hotel room in Houston was filled up. We were told to take it up with the customer representatives at the ticket counter outside the secure area.

Apparently, ExpressJet does this kind of thing a lot: according to my research, they have problems with getting off the ground on time, and their customer service is abyssmal. Complain? It is to laugh — and don’t dare try it when you’re already on board one of their planes. With the security situation the way it is, if you get the slightest bit irate, you can get kicked off. In June 2007, in fact, ExpressJet kicked a woman and her 19-month-old child off a flight because the flight attendant got upset about something the toddler was saying. I’m not making this up. The attendant told the woman to drug her baby with Benedryl to shut him up; again, not kidding. When the mother refused and some other passengers stuck up for her, the attendant had mother and child removed from the plane in Houston. Continental says they’re “investigating.” I’m sure they are, but isn’t that like setting the fox to guard the henhouse?

TO BE CONTINUED.

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